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President of the United States
="The only thing we like need to be scared of is the very idea of fear" -Franklin Roosevelt on why fear is scary The President of the United States (POTUS) is a title reserved to the individual, who runs the executive branch of the U.S. Government and is seen as the world leader representing the U.S, which depending on who holds the title can be seen as either a good or bad thing. The President is known as the Commander in Chief and is the head of the military. Cycle of a Kin- cough sorry I mean President (We don't do kings apparently) How to Apply Many people desire power, be it for good or selfish reasons. As such, becoming President would be a nifty way of acheving your goals. Though there are a couple requirements that need to be met if you wish to apply for the job *You must be at least 35-years old (Sorry youngsters who are 34 and under) *You have to be a naturalized citizen born either to U.S citizens or in the nation (Trust me, I too wish Keanu Reevs could be POTUS but he wasn't born in America) *You need to be healthy and not mentally unstable (Apparently not as important since we've had some batshit crazy leaders, which we'll get to in a moment) If you meet the requirements, congrats, you can run! So how does the cycle go?" The Primaries Whether you run as a Democrat or a Republican, chances are, you're going to have some competition (Don't tell me you thought you were the only one interested were you?) Anyway in the primary stage, you and other competing canidates compete in fundraisers and debates until people vote for the last one standing. That person will be the nominee representing that said party The General Election Eventully, the winners of each party will face off in debates until November 8th, in which the people will vote who they want as President Pbft I wish! The Electoral College does that! The people vote doesn't mean shit (Just look at the 2016 Election) Term Limits Yeah you can't be President forever. A sitting President can serve up two two terms. Each term lasts four years and you gotta win re-election to run a second term. List of Presidents in history # George Washington- The founder # John Adams- The guy who first lived in the White House # Thomas Jefferson- He wrote the Declaration and cleared the debt. He was a hypocrite though so meh # James Madison- One of the founders # James Monroe- A fucking moron (Hey Guyz lets solve the slave issue by drawing an imaginary line!) # John Quincy Adams- Adams' son # [[Andrew Jackson]] - He ordered the massacure of natives living in Florida because he wanted the place to be given to the U.S. Piece of Shit # Martin Van Buren- May have fucked up the economy # William Henry Harrison- I don't see why he counts. He died one month after becoming President # John Tyler- Traitor who had a shit ton of kids and grandkids. I say traitor because he was in contact with the Confederates while in office # James K. Polk- He was the POTUS during the U.S-Mexican War. Mofo manifest destinyed the west coast # Zachary Taylor- A whig dude who dressed in his uniform # Millard Filmore- He was Zach's whig buddy # Franklin Pierce- Good guy but didn't do much due to a trauma regarding his kid. Poor Guy # James Buchanan- Asshole who did nothing to stop the south from seceeding # Abraham Lincoln- He banned slavery in an honest way # Andrew Johnson- Dick who tried to undo his predecesor's legacy. Fucker may have caused segregation # Ulysees S. Grant- War hero of American Civil War. He was also a bit of a drunk but he was cool # Ruthorford B. Hayes- Who? # James A. Garfield- He was shot # Chester A. Arthur- He tried to fix civil service # Grover Cleveland- He tried to fix the exetutive branch. # Benjamin Harrison- He knows his foreign affairs. Cool I suppose # Grover Cleveland (again) Same as his first term # William McKinnley- He solves the Spanish-American War and then got shot # Theodore Roosevelt- He scared the American Mafia shitless # William H. Taft- Fatass who tried to fix the economy but was kinda racist # Woodrow Wilson- Led The U.S during WWI # Warren G. Hardon Harding (Guy got around if ya know what I mean) # Calvin Coolidge- He had a nasel voice. # Herbert Hoover- Hoover damn he sucked # Franklin D. Roosevelt- Served longer than anyone else and was in a wheelchair. Nice guy # Harry Truman- THE FUCKER NUKED HIROSHIMA (That ain't retaliation, that's a war crime) # Dwight D. Ike Eisenhower- Hero and Commander of Allied Forces during WWII. # John F. Kennedy- Youngest Potus ever in history. Solved Cuban Missile Crisis and helped Dr. Martin Luther King and would have done more but was shot and killed # Lyndon B. Johnson- Bastard caused U.S involvement during Vietnam War # Richard Nixon- Watergate was really bad. Also he started the war on drugs, which was kinda a cover for targeting hippies and black people # Gerald Ford- Guys stop laughing and get the poor guy a Life Alert # Jimmy Carter- He got a peanut farm and has a nobel peace prize for his role in foreign affairs and human rights # Ronald Reagan- Tear that wall down Mr. Gorbechav! # George H.W Bush- Read his lips! No new taxe- aw damn it # [[Bill Clinton]]- He did not have sexual relations with that woman # George W. Bush- Weapons of mass destruction and Iraq! # Barrack Obama- The first black guy who became President # Donald J. Trump- Vladimir Putin's proxy